Wednesday, April 11, 2007

You Call That a Vacation?

It all starts with a suitcase. Now my mom knows I’m smart. She knows that as soon as I see a suitcase, I’ll start getting bummed out! I know she knows, that I know, that the suitcase means she’s leaving me. She tries to hide the suitcase from me. She sneaks it into the room when she thinks I’m not looking. But I know. I wonder where she’s off to now. How long will she be gone? Will she forget about me? Why is she leaving me?

Then I see the leash and I just can’t help myself. I’m bummed she’s leaving, but hey I get to go bye-bye in the car! There’s nothing better than having the air blowing in my face with my jowls and ears flapping in the wind. Aaaaaaahhhhh. But I digress. Let’s get back to the story.

Chadwick and I hop into the back seat of the Jeep, mom seat belts us in and we’re off. Mom says cheerily, “we’re going to see Ponch!” Hound translation, we’re going to the kennel! Now I’m not a big fan of the kennel, but I do like Mr. Ponch, except when he gives me a bath. I hate baths! Other than that, he takes good care of me. He takes good care of Chadwick too, but this story is about me so, enough about Chadwick, let’s focus on me.

We arrive and I quickly hop out of the Jeep and run to the door to greet the crew. As always, they’re very happy to see me. After the initial ooohs and aaaahs from the crew, I give mom my saddest look as I walk away, and my “supposed vacation” begins.

So you want the details on my vacation? Well here you go. Here are all the wild and exciting details. I sleep. I eat. I nap. I give a quick shout out to make sure Chadwick is okay. He barks back, upset that I woke him. I go back to sleep. I eat. I nap. I sip some water. I sleep. Are you starting to get the picture? Do you call that a vacation? I didn’t think so! Where’s my massage? Where’s my long walk on the beach? Where’s my favorite cocktail? Where’s my heavenly bed?

As I write this, I know mom is getting ready to leave me again. She hasn’t brought out the suitcase yet, but I know it is coming. That brings me to Hound Wisdom #3…

Until next time, your very intuitive and ticked off hound, Princess Abby.
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Allow me to introduce myself

My name is Abigail, although personally I prefer Princess Abby. I live, make that rule, a household in Los Angeles. I have a big backyard to play in, a couch to sleep on, and lots of love. I'm on my 3rd, yes 3rd, male companion. My first bud was Sherlock and he taught me everything. I was just six weeks old when I met him. He was five, so he knew everything. He took me under his wing and looked after me until the day he died. He died a week before his 13th birthday. That was almost 5 years ago and I still miss him. He was a special dude and for 8 years, we spent every minute of every day together. I was really lonely after I lost my best bud. So mom decided I needed another friend. In walks Brutus. Now Brutus was nothing like Sherlock. He'd had a really rough life but he didn't want to share what he knew of the world. He said his past was just too ugly and he wanted to forget it. He was just grateful to have nice place to sleep and people who loved him. He followed my mom around everywhere. He would never let her out of his sight. At first I was a little jealous, well a lot jealous. But then I realized he didn't grow up getting the kind of love and attention that I did, so I let him have the spotlight. I wound up learning a lot from him. I learned how to be grateful for the things I had. I'd grown up having it all so I didn't really appreciate anything. Brutus however was grateful for everything. I learned that the more love I give, the more I get back in return. He was a very special friend but unfortunately he got really sick and our time together was cut short. My heart ached after Brutus was gone. What was wrong with me that my two best buds had to leave me? As I sat feeling sorry for myself, mom pulled up in the Jeep and out jumped Chadwick. Now let me tell you about Chadwick. Chadwick walked in like he owned the place. He walked around like he was royalty or something. I don't know who he thought he was, but I quickly put him in his place. I established myself as the alpha dog in this household. He challenged me at first, but he finally acquiesced. Now Chadwick is a pain in my ass. I mean that literally. You see he's blind. I don't just mean he can't see well, the dog has no eyes. It's kind of freaky if you ask me. It is kind of funny though to watch him bump into things. He gets around by his sense of smell. Now let me translate that for you. It means he walks around with his snout stuck up my butt! Now you may laugh and you may think it's cute, but let me tell you, it's annoying as hell! I'll admit, he's quite a looker but boy does he bug. He gets on my nerves to no end. So the reason I tell you all this is so that you'll realize how much experience I have with love, with friendship, with life. I know I'm not getting any younger and I realize that after twelve years in this crazy world it's time I do something to give back. So I've decided my legacy will be to pass on my hound wisdom to all who are willing to listen. So please read my ramblings, my rants, my observations. You just might learn something.